Inertia Is a Sin

Finding focus for the blog

Had insomnia the past 2 nights. Will wake up at 12am and cannot go to sleep till 3am. Strangely I can still function after 2 consecutive nights of just 2 hours of sleep.

My mind kept coming back to the blog and what I am going to do with it.

The things I have been putting most of my energy and time in the past 2 years has finally come to a conclusion this Sept. It’s time to find a new focus and direction for this blog.

So things to start writing about.
1. My own Mac experience. Just to seal it
2. Research projects I am involved in.
3. My overseas service-learning project in Cebu
4. Photography
5. Books I enjoyed reading

That should keep me occupied for a while.

A dedication

My readership has stabilized to about 4 hits a day. Nice number as this was primarily an online journal. My stuff on biology and science is mainly in rbiology.wordpress.com and my twitter.

Guess it is as good a time as any to pen down the thing that has been occupying my thoughts for the past few months. My mother.

Her cancer has undergone metastasis and moved to the lung. The first signs were her persistent cough and gradual loss of voice. When she consented to an x-ray, a dreaded shadow loomed at the center of the lung.

That was the explanation for all her symptoms, the shortness of breath, fatigue, and persistent cough. She was admitted for a CT scan and a biopsy. My buddy at SGH showed me the CT film and it was more cancer than lung, with secondary growth.

Could still remember that moment, I was sitting down beside the computer, looking at the screen and felt all the strength leave me.

So now its been about a month since the news. Mother was discharged and the family went back to the routine of spending more time back home.

Me? I now try to finish work early, take leave during chemo sessions to be with her, and try my very best to focus on my new portfolio.

A word on my new portfolio, I now have to set up the service-learning programme for the school, both local and overseas, largely by myself.

So how will things turn out? I am not sure really but things like this really surface things which we know is important and now is more immediate and urgent. Considered taking leave, yet you know you cannot really leave things undone and trouble others to pick up pieces after you.

She is, like all mothers, someone very dear and important to me. She is the reason I could have an education, working long hours in a factory to make sure my fees are paid and I could just focus on learning. I managed to even get a Masters and now a nice job.

So now you do what you can, count each day past as a great blessing and show your gratitude and try to make things better.

Like what Randy Pausch did: http://www.thelastlecture.com/index.htm

For 2011

Realised I have not come to this page in a while. Was talking to Siva and he was saying that the average access for a blog should be around 80 hits per day for it to be useful.

Well this blog may now serve a different purpose. What it is may need some time to take form.

Last year can be said to the the year I was standing at the crossroads, or perched at the edge of a cliff, looking at what lies ahead and wondering which route to take, or deciding if I should just take a plunge.

Well come 2011, I am still perched there. Looking over and still deliberating though I know I must decide very soon. For now work has started and you know what that means.

Interesting that I am appointed an ICT mentor for some colleagues, had my first session last week where I went through basics such as switching on and off the mac, where are the apps, what is the command button for. It was quite invigorating and hopefully this will continue for a while. Perhaps this will be my shot at being an ADE.

Went Nepal last year, it was exhausting, exhilarating and enlightening. Feels really good to be back trekking in the mountains and just listen to the sound of your own heartbeat and your footsteps crunching on the leaves beneath. The only regret is that I should have stayed longer and conditioned myself better. Well till the next trip. Definitely going back. Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chengpuay/

What will this year be like? Will spend alot of time with family this year. Have to work to focus in school as well.

Basically a summary of what has happened so far

I tweet more than I write now, but probably also there seem to be less time alone just by myself for writing and doing things alone. So I have not really posted something substantial for a while.

Quite a few things has happened, some good, some challenging. A big part should be centered on my job, myself asking what is most important as a teacher and whether do I like the things I am doing. A big part is about myself trying to adjust to my new role and the many things and expectations that come along with it.

While I can now try to make things better in the school in some areas, I spend less time with students, and this was what I find alot of meaning in. In my long reflection, I am very grateful for the support and advice my friends have offered.

After the struggle, I made my decision and strangely felt calm. Meetings went easier and you can take things as they come. Will be status quo for another year. After that we shall see.

A good quote which I think I will use soon: